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We moved to Hungary in August. Culturally here it is important to be outside. People walk a lot. There are world-class playgrounds for kids everywhere. There is also a "real" winter - consistent temps of Zero to -5c (20f-30f), sunsets at 3:30pm, frozen everything that intermittently turns to slush and mud then refreezes, snow, etc. We weren't sure what to expect about the outdoor lifestyle once winter hit but it is apparent now, 3 months into it, Hungarians still get outside as much as possible in the winter. Snowsuits on the kids starting in November so they are ambling around like Randy, Ralphie's little brother, being pulled on wooden sleds around town as Mom runs errands, propper sledding, and ice skating. They put up rinks all over the city. They also have the usual year-round ice arena's but for the laymen it is very easy and affordable to find some ice and partake, winter be damned.
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Graeme came to us in November asking to go skating. It's outdoors, it's physical and it's something he probably never even fathomed of doing. But, something caught his attention. Something got his eye. Something entered his mind that he wanted to do it. It wasn't me. It wasn't Erin. We did not bring it to him. He knows I have a history with ice hockey but has never seen me skate (it was a 30 years absence before he got me on skates this winter).
If you have ever sat next to me with a beer in my hand you may have heard my theory (rant?) about how kids today may be involved in tons of things but are they really "into" them? They have every opportunity handed to them. Parents these days throw every activity and sport at them. Some excel at them, some just do it to keep Mom and Dad at bay. But are they into it? Like, do they own it? Are they partaking in the lifestyle around the activity? Even if they are, and interest has peeked - all they have to do is hit Youtube and see whatever sport/activity/lifestyle it is being done at a level so high it can intimidate them away from it. I believe that some children that are handed an opportunity to partake in something are not really that into it. Yes, they may excel. Yes, they may be good at it and join the various teams and have it as part of their schedule, but if the parents are the ones presenting them with the opportunity I feel they just treat it as something else to check off for Mom and Dad so they can get their Fortnite time later.
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As opposed to, a child coming to their parents saying "I want to do this". Huge difference. Something got them. A video online? A best friend that does it too? Is it someone that they want to be their best friend does it? They saw someone do it and were amazed? Doesn't matter. I truly believe that if the child brings it to the table they will truly be "into" it and partake in all that goes with whatever the thing is, and it's our jobs as parents to support them in these endeavors. I am not saying we as a parent should stop presenting opportunities to our kids, I am just saying it is much better when they present them to us - it just seems to be more of a rarity these days.
Kids today also get exposed to whatever the sport is "all in". "Oh, you want to ice skate? OK - here are $300 Bauers and $1,000 of other gear and we have weekly lessons with a washed-up NHL pro for you every Saturday afternoon." "Oh, you want to snowboard? Here is $2,000 worth of gear and we will be in the Alps every school break this winter with lessons of course." Here are all the Youtube channels to show you all the best of the best of whatever. Jeez. Slow down. That will make a kid run for the hills in a heartbeat. We need to show them the ropes and stand back and offer support when they ask for it or when it is apparent they need it. Graeme came to us with ice skating. We lucked into a great pair of skates. We take him whenever he asks and we offer to go whenever it may be a possibility in our travels. Today, he and I discovered our local pond so now we don't even have to travel to the rinks to do it. He has no stick and is using his skateboard helmet. I could have geared him up and pushed him harder 2 months ago but purposely did not. Today we played for hours using shovels as sticks and a chunk of ice as a puck. I guarantee he had more fun today than the kids suited up at the local arena in their power skating clinic.
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Using myself as an example - Ice Hockey, Surfing, Skateboarding, Snowboarding, and Golf. Those were (are) my things. My parents supported me in all of these but they were not the ones who brought them to me. We grew up in a lake community, so yes, they taught me how to skate at an early age - but when my best friend in 1st grade was signing up to play in the local hockey league, I came home and told them I wanted to do it. That lead to a long journey playing organized hockey at an advanced level until I was 17 years old. I came to them similarly with the other activities, looking for their support (that means money!) so that I could get the gear and get "into" it. I saw a guy surfing on TV in a commercial and that was it. 1st love. Skateboarding, my friends did it and I wanted to surf year round but didn't live at the beach. Snowboarding, well, it snowed in the winter and we couldn't ride our skateboards so...
There was also soccer and baseball. HATED them. Coincidentally, I did not bring those to the table. Golf is the only one I can say doesn't fit in too well with my theory - my Dad got me out there in High School. I did it. Wasn't very good at it. It took a long time to play. Etc. Etc. But once in college, on my own accord, I got into it and it stuck. Still not that good at it but cannot get enough of it ;)
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So we are over the moon that Graeme has come to us with something he wants to do and something he enjoys doing. We will support that to the level that he wants us to. Hey, I once drove him 3hrs one way for a playdate, so driving 20 minutes and lacing up the skates after a 30-year absence does not seem like that hard of a thing to do in support of his interests.
He is young. He will bring more things to us. We will still present him with more opportunities as well. I just feel when you think about the things that really stick. Things kids really get "into", it is incredible when they are the ones who find them versus having them served up on a platter.
He may be over this by next winter. He may want to see what it's like to really play hockey. He may (gasp) want to try out figure skating. He may just want to play pond hockey with shovels and a chunk of ice....
Love and Peace,
The Hawken's in Hungary
#thetaoofgraeme
